Search
Powered By
Powered by Squarespace

Much thanks to Squarespace!

The Sanguo Yanyi
  • Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Vol. 1
    Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Vol. 1
    by Lo Kuan-Chung, Robert E. Hegel, C. H. Brewitt-Taylor

    I am currently producing an audiobook adaptation of the Sanguo Yanyi (The Romance of the Three Kingdoms), one of the Four Classics of Chinese Literature.  

Email us! Email us Now!
This form does not yet contain any fields.
    Links
    Online
    Comments
    Blogroll

    Blog

    RSS - Archive

    Thoughts From DJ RaspyRants and thoughts on politics, culture, writing, podcasting, and creating audiobooks.

    Wednesday
    Oct102012

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 6 - The Rise of Pithar Bovine, the Bull of Darkness

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 6 - "The Rise of Pithar Bovine, the Bull of Darkness"

     

    Way, way, way back (or forward) in the day, when The D.M. was still creating Slud (the Planet), and in fact, probably right after He had finished His sandwich, and just after He had sent the Comet against Slud (the Planet) which had wiped out His first living creations, The D.M. created a magical garden, called Jrinkin. Jrinkin was a lush and beautiful garden, and The D.M., of His will and His power and His thought, created many great and wondrous things to fill it, for life in the Universe beyond the Universe of Slud (which some of the more heretical among the Philosopher class have dared, from time to time, to name as the Universe in which the The D.M. Himself had been born and in which they have claimed that He dwells when He is not manifest within our own universe), was dreadfully boring, even depressing to Him, and He sought at that time to create an abode for Himself upon Slud (the Planet), where He could be surrounded by beautiful things.The Garden of Jrinkin, the paradise of The D.M. upon Slud (the Planet), particularly that paradise which is implied in the phrase "paradise lost", was more than 1000 times more beautiful and awesome than the rather mundane, somewhat boring paradise pictured above.

     

    He created grasses both slight and tall, and covered the stone of the hills and plains with them. He created great winding rivers and pleasant little rapids and breathtakingly beautiful waterfalls that spilled gracefully down over stone cliffs, and allowed their courses to meander placidly throughout the domains of His Garden. He created all sorts of trees to fill His garden with verdant canopies under which He might find shade from the rays of the Sun, plus He knew that plants convert carbon dioxide, which is toxic to the respiratory systems of human and human-like creatures (of which, it could be said, He was one), into oxygen, which is necessary for those same creatures to breathe and thus to keep their cells alive, and He figured that if He were going to create life upon His world of Slud (the Planet), He should probably make plants in order to furnish that life with the air needed to breathe. As it was, He created trees of many different varieties, that bore the most delicious fruit ever tasted by the lips of creatures at all able to recognize taste. Seriously. It was good stuff. Any fruit you could find now, even the most delicious one you can possibly imagine paled in comparison to the the ones in the Garden of Jrinkin. There were plenty of animals there, too, species that today (whenever today happens to be) would be natural enemies, but who lived with each other back then in peaceful coexistence, their instinctual enmity calmed to rest by the peace of The D.M., who willed that they should not fight one another. The whole place was beautiful. Really. You would have loved it.

     

    And in the very center of the Garden of Jrinkin, The D.M. created a Tree upon whose boughs grew very special fruit, perhaps the greatest fruit of all. For truly, it was the legendary “Tree of Godly Power”. Though other legends have at various times given that tree different names, including the “Tree of Consciousness”, the “Tree of Divine Wisdom” and the “Tree of Not Being a Total Waste of Carbon Dioxide”.

     

    And when He was finished with his labor, The D.M. looked out over the Garden of Jrinkin, and He saw that it was good. Not quite as good as His legendary sandwich had been, but good enough, He supposed. Well, all except for one thing.

    Click to read more ...

    Wednesday
    Oct102012

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 5 - Of the Great Tournament at Spirit Stalls

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 5 - "Of the Great Tournament at Spirit Stalls"

     

         At about roughly this time, the ill-fated Grand Conclave of Politicians having met with a supermassive bolt of lightning from the D.M., which brought their political careers to an electrifying end in a single terrible moment, and the world having been, as a consequence of the D.M.'s unfortunate and entirely avoidable pyrotechnics display, thrown into even more chaos than it normally experienced (if that is at all possible), the legendary hero known as Sam the Unintentional is thought by many Historians to have more or less started his career far away, within the Unaligned City-States of Qaestion. However, as the story of Sam the Unintentional is largely considered an epic saga in its own right, the author finds it perhaps prudent to reserve that story for another section of this volume, which can be fully devoted to divulging its details, so as to do the story full justice, and thus, the author will leave off the story of Sam the Unintentional for the time being, and instead continue with this ongoing (and ongoing and ongoing) prologue to his work.

     

    Sam the Unintentional (center) pictured here with Goldie the Cow (left) and some random guy who totally just wandered into the shot and ruined the whole photograph like some sort of jackass. Photo courtesy of the Alienated Press.The people of human Society, that is to say the Peasants, had long ago agreed, perhaps very much without realizing that they were indeed agreeing, to accept the utterly preposterous assumption that they were not fit to rule themselves, so when their various government officers, that is to say all the politicians in the world suddenly found themselves fried to a deep, crispy golden-brown not unlike some variety of chicken, the peoples of the world despaired, particularly the peasants, and they thought that the end of the world and the end of human society had come. For how on Slud could they even think to rule themselves? They believed that peasants like themselves were stupid and ignorant and completely unable to be entrusted with the heavy burdens of rulership, and precisely because they believed this about themselves and their fellow peasants, they ended up most often proving themselves correct on that score.

     

    They decided, naturally, that

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Oct092012

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 4 - The Tragedy at the Grand Conclave of Swizarrine

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 4 - "The Tragedy at the Grand Conclave of Swizarrine"

     

         Now, after (or before) Joshua Calendar went freaking nuts, and the incredibly complicated count of Time started among human beings, the various peoples of the human species established in many parts of the world vast, centralized States, called “Empires”, where a few people ruled over a great many other people in a more or less hierarchical way, and the citizens of these Empires, like they usually do, innovated many technologies, and carried through those innovations with all the sorts of inventions and institutions that one might well expect to encounter within a civilized Society.

         At the urging of hirelings(often armed with a whip) under the employ of the aristocrats, theIn the centuries following (or preceding) the departure of Joshua Calendar, the Humans of Slud set to work building the works of civilization, the houses, the palaces, the public places, the parks and gardens and government offices. Vast amounts of backbreaking labor was required to build all these things. Naturally, the Peasants "volunteered". And, of course, they were all too happy to do so for free, without any sort of real compensation for their labors. Because they're peasants, and they just don't believe such nonsense like the heretical notion that they somehow deserve more. peasants of Slud built roads and they built schools and they built hospitals and post offices and universities and temples and concert halls. They built shops and houses and palaces and temples. They built farms and parks and harbors and ports. The peasants, of course, thought that it was really rather nice of their aristocratic overlords to allow them to help build all these things for the aristocrats and churchmen to own, and some among them were made particularly ecstatic when their turn came to be whipped by the taskmasters for not moving fast enough, or not lifting a heavy enough load. That is, the author has observed from time to time, precisely how peasants appear to react to the pains inflicted upon them by those who work far less for the betterment of society, but whom society tolerates and even embraces because they at least make a claim that they are “creating jobs”.

         It had been hoped (mainly by aristocrats, for peasants are, as all humans know, barely able to survive, much less have any leisure for such an abstract thing as a “hope”) that by the building of such societal infrastructure, the operation of society would be made more effective, but the

    Click to read more ...

    Sunday
    Sep232012

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 3 - On the Lamentable Fate of Philosophers and Historians

    Tales of Slud, Prologue, Part 3 - "On the lamentable fate of Philosophers and Historians"

    The Philosophers are a group which developed as a subordinate class among the followers and colleagues of Grankh the Pompous, that is to say, the philosophers originated among the scientists of the human society which burgeoned out of the First Great Conversation at Mt. Conn-Fuuzhen.

    The Philosophers, they who trace their lineage backwards (and of course also forwards) to such people as the first philosophers, Russel the Distracted and Socraplataristo the Demagogue, are thinkers by training and it is they who examine broad, sweeping questions about the nature of existence to their utmost peril. If there is any human in the world who has any idea of who they are, and what place they have in the universe, that idea is owing to the efforts of thousands of years worth of Philosophers who have paid the highest of prices for the answers to their questions.

    Click to read more ...

    Friday
    Sep212012

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 2 - The Unfortunate Tale of Joshua Calendar, the Keeper of Time

    Tales of Slud, Prologue, Part 2 - "The Unfortunate Tale Of Joshua Calendar, the Keeper of Time"

     

    The Problem of Time: Whose Problem Is It Anyway?

    Incredibly complex is time, in any universe presumably.  Even more incredibly complex by a factor of at least a hundred is the time which operates in Slud, our mixed up Universe. 

    The solution implemented by the D.M., the supreme God beyond supreme Gods, the ultimate source of all life, almighty creator of our Universe as many believe, to solve the tremendous gaps in language, culture, technology, and general social understanding that had developed between human beings, however, was most certainly not very complex at all. Let's face it...complex is a bit beyond the abilities of our Almighty Creator. You know, because of the laziness and stupidity.

    And because in our universe, God is both lazy and stupid, His solution was naturally to push the job onto someone else to take care of. That's just how the dice of The D.M. roll...

    Click to read more ...

    Saturday
    Sep082012

    Tales of Slud: Prologue, Part 1 - How the Entire Universe of Slud was created. And how both a planet and a man also got that name

    Tales of Slud, Prologue, Part 1 - "How the entire Universe of Slud was created. And how both a planet and a man also got that name."

         In the Beginning, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. You would not believe how empty the place was. Like, think of something. Anything you choose. An apple. A cute little puppy. The 3rd law of thermodynamics...That didn't exist. It wasn't there. Because there was nothing. Quite literally nothing.      

         And then, the Universe came to Be, for much the same reason, many wise people throughout countless centuries have been driven to confess, perhaps somewhat ruefully, that any universe is created; that is to say, a dry and very poignant boredom. That, and also because there was a consciousness to perceive it. But mostly it was just the boredom...and by the use of that particular term, the author of this book intends to convey a general picture of the most dreadful tedium, as if that of a bad dream which never really seems to end until at one time, for one reason or another, it does. Such, the author has noticed, can be called "life" by many, many tongues, and many more fingertips. Such a terrible, wearisome boredom exerts a certain pressure upon many individuals to create as a means of at least temporary escape, and that attempt to escape from the horrendous tedium of mundane existence, it is thought by many of the scientists of our world, provided the impetus for the very existence of our Universe. 

         For Behold! Upon one Thursday night in the world of a creator, there appeared a being known only as The D.M., shapeless and formless, and as small and yet as vast as a single thought, and for the first time, there was something. For The D.M. had come forth with a Will to create, and thus the Universe was no longer empty, nor was it Void, nor meaningless, nor uninhabited, but it had a population of one, and that one was He who had come forth to create. 

         And the Thought of The D.M. called forth into being the Universe in all its potential, as if it were a great Mansion, whose outer walls had been fashioned as a sort of boundary to everything, although the inside remained as yet unfilled. And The D.M. looked upon the boundaries of the Universe that He had created, and He thought that It was good...enough. Sort of an underachiever, that D.M.

    Click to read more ...

    Wednesday
    Jun272012

    Raspy Says (6/27/12)

    The Self believes that it is the Center of the Universe.

    The Universe, of course, knows that the Self is deceived, for the Universe knows that It has no Center.

    Therefore, the Self is the Center of a Deception. 

    Monday
    Jun252012

    New Sanguo Yanyi episode up...

    It's been about half a year since the last time I posted.  Or a full year.  Hell, I don't remember.  I'm about half senile.  But what I do know is that there's a new Sanguo Yanyi audiobook episode at the Sanguo Yanyi portion of this site.  Here's a link to it.  I'm so niiiiiiiiice. 

    http://www.djraspy.com/the-sanguo-yanyi-audiobook/2012/6/25/the-sanguo-yanyi-chapter-57.html 

    Enjoy. 

    Friday
    Dec092011

    What's New? 

    http://www.djraspy.com/the-sanguo-yanyi-audiobook/2011/12/9/the-sanguo-yanyi-chapter-56.html 

     

    That's what's new.  A new chapter in the Sanguo Yanyi Audiobook. Chapter 56.  The last one I released was in March, and I figured it was time to give those of you who have been patiently waiting for a new chapter a little something something to brighten your holiday season...or something.

    So there you go, people! An early Birthmas Present for you! Enjoy!

    Wednesday
    Oct262011

    #Occupy Digest - Op-Ed: There Will Be Blood

    By D.J. Raspe - DJRaspy.com

     

    A veteran at Occupy Oakland protest, wounded in the head by riot rounds from Oakland Police during brutal Oakland PD crackdown against protesters on Oct. 25, 2011.I said previously that there would be blood in this uprising. I was hoping I would be wrong. I was not. Sometimes I freaking HATE being able to foresee the future!


    This is a picture of one of the protesters from the #OccupyOakland protests. His head is wounded from an attack by Oakland Police last night which involved the use of rubber bullets and/or beanbags fired at protesters, as well as tear gas and flash grenades. 

    I have spent all night spamming the Oakland Police Officers' Association Facebook page and the Facebook and Twitter Accounts of Oakland Mayor Jean Quan (@jeanquan on Twitter) with outraged posts and commentary, and as of about an hour ago, the Oakland Police Officers' Association Facebook Page was taken down and/or deleted. 

    Shit's getting real now. At least one Police Force has declared war on Occupation forces, and

    Click to read more ...

    Wednesday
    Oct122011

    #OccupyDigest - Op-Ed - We are ALL Homeless...

    By Mitakuye Oyasin - DJRaspy.com

     

    I would like to share a story with you all...


    I was at work last night, and there's been this old guy hanging around there. He's got to be at least 60, maybe even in his 70's. Because of his situation in life, it's kind of hard to tell his actual age. His circumstances have probably aged him quite a bit. You TOO could be a winner in the "Lose it all" Sweepstakes. Be kind, if you ever want anyone to be kind to you.

    I saw him sitting there on the bench in the room with the pool tables, with several plastic shopping bags sitting next to him. Whenever he would get up and move, his bags would always go with him. And well they should, for though I am far too polite to have ever peeked into them, I am almost certain that I know what was in them. Those bags likely contained everything that the aged gentleman owned...

    You see, the Gentleman of which I speak is homeless, one of the many, many people in this country that are, every year, forced by economic circumstances into that lamentable lot in life. As the few rich that are left get richer, and the billions of poor get poorer, and the middle class is completely wiped out by Laws and Codes, international and national, that are designed to help only a small segment of the population to prosper, while the rest are largely abandoned by the State...there are so many, so very many like the Gentleman of which I speak. So many that perhaps, at times, they almost seem invisible...

    Click to read more ...

    Monday
    Oct102011

    #OccupyDigest - Op-Ed - Why am I Angry?

    By Mitakuye Oyasin - DJRaspy.com

     

    I get angry, sometimes. I get really, really angry about the way the world is. And the world..or at least those of you in the world who have any interaction with me...you know it. 

    Why am I angry? Am I angry at the Bankers in particular? No. They were born into a society that is set up like a Game. They learned to play the game, and play it very well, and they won the game, or so it would seem.Here in the States, we consider ourselves lucky if we can make rent for the month. In other parts of the world, they consider themselves lucky if they can make supper for the month. Are we proud of Hierarchy and Inequality now?

    Am I angry at the Governments of the World? No. They were born into a society that feels it needs them, and they were elected to office to do what Governments do.

    Am I angry at Corporations? No. Just like anyone else in the world, the CEO's and the Board of Directors and the shareholders didn't make the world. They just live in it, and play according to the rules we've set up over the past 10000 years.

    Am I angry at the Police of the world, the Armies of the world? No. They were born into a society which requires their services...a society that demands that some humans deprive other humans of their lives or their property or their virtue, while that same society demands that other humans deprive their fellow humans of their lives or their freedom. The Police and the Soldiers of the world, they didn't make the world either. They just try to live in it.

    Click to read more ...

    Friday
    Oct072011

    SIU General Strike Pending as Negotiations Continue

    Southern Illinois University to be shut down by General Strike?

    By D.J. Raspe - DJRaspy.com

    A campus-wide strike has been in the air for months at Southern Illinois University - Carbondale, as Campus Officials continue a stubborn attempt to hold out against the demands of the Unions represented on-campus.

    Click to read more ...

    Sunday
    Oct022011

    #OccupyDigest - Saturday, October 1, 2011

     

    Breaking News: Big Media

    Caught Red-Handed?  

    The New York Times: Time-honored Bastion of real Journalism? Or Bought-and-Paid-For Liars? You be the judge.

    By D.J. Raspe - DJRaspy.com

     

    Brooklyn, NY -- I bet you're wondering why I'm formatting this particular entry of the #OccupyDigest differently than all the previous ones.  Well, you're probably not wondering, actually, but I'm going to tell you anyway.  I'm formatting it like a newspaper, because, quite frankly, it has become clear to me that the traditional sources of publication, the Big Media Outlets like the New York Times, are no longer worthy of the damned format that they have used for centuries. 

    The Revolution is still going strong - American Autumn, 2011"What's that, Raspy?  Explain yourself!", you might be saying.  All right, I will.  As if the damning picture at the top of this Digest entry has not adequately said it for me. You see, I want to explain it, and I will do so with a story, a personal anecdote of how my day went yesterday (October 1st...I'm writing this on the morning of October 2nd). Bear with me.  I'm kinda long-winded.  But even though I've not slept since yesterday morning, and I'm really, really tired, this story...this unmitigated OUTRAGE of a story must be told, so I'm going to tell it. 

    You see, I've been following the events of the #OccupyWallStreet Movement and other similar #Occupy Movements across the country for a little over 2 weeks now.  16 days, to be precise, and I've noticed something.  The news changes.  Sometimes, articles that I set aside to revisit later when I am ready to type up my #OccupyDigest come up mysteriously missing from search results.  I always wondered about that.  Now, I do not any longer have to wonder.  The New York Times has given me a glimpse, probably quite inadvertantly, of the reason for this.

    Click to read more ...

    Friday
    Sep302011

    #OccupyDigest - Thursday, September 29, 2011

    By D.J. Raspe - DJRaspy.com

    As I sit here writing this particular entry in the #OccupyDigest, a song is playing through my computer speakers.  It is this song.  Here.  Download it.  Listen to it while you read this entry.  It will help to put this all into perspective, while I relate to you a peculiar analogy which has come to me...

    Flag of the 2nd American Revolution - 2011The song you are hearing right now, written between 1916 and 1918 by master Composer Gustav Holst during a time of great upheaval known in that day as "The Great War", is called "Saturn: The Bringer of Old Age".  But it has another name, a nickname.  It nickname is "Saturn: Guardian of Time", so called because of the central theme of this piece follows the rhythm of a swinging pendulum, as upon a clock. 

    It is an appropriate song to play, while writing this post in the #OccupyDigest.  Why, you might ask?  Because Time is ever a key factor in any Revolution, including the one which I am attempting to curate in these #OccupyDigest posts. And, even without the subtle yet apprehensive beauty of Holst's symphonic pendulum swinging back and forth in the background, Time is ever on my mind, as it is no doubt on the minds of many within the #Occupy Movement.

    Click to read more ...

    Wednesday
    Sep282011

    #OccupyDigest - Wednesday, September 28, 2011

    By D.J. Raspe - DJRaspy.com

    I would like to begin this particular entry in the #OccupyDigest with a quote from one Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, otherwise known as Mahatma Gandhi, which I find to be particularly of relevance:

    "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."

    Flag of the 2nd American Revolution - 2011Keeping that quote in mind, the #Occupy Movement reached its 12th Day today, and what a difference 12 days has made.  The Occupy Movement started with the original protest at #OccupyWallStreet in New York City, on September 17, 2011.  By today, that is, September 28, 2011, the Movement has spread all over the continental United States, bolstered its image with massive star power, the likes of Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Immortal Technique, Chris Hedges, Dr. Cornell West, and yes, even such big name newsmedia pundits as Keith Olbermann, Lawrence O'Donnel, Matt Taibbi and Cenk Uygur. Additionally, the Industrial Workers of the World and several hundred Airline Pilots joined the protests on Wall Street in solidarity.

    This week has seen the movement grow from one protest movement in Zucotti Park, NYC, to a collection, even confederation, of movements across America, from Boston to Los Angeles, from Atlanta to San Francisco, from Texas to Nebraska to Colorado to Illinois to Wisconsin...and yes, even South Dakota is organizing to join the ranks of the Occupy Movement.  But more on that later.

    Click to read more ...

    Wednesday
    Sep282011

    On Carey Fuller: Champion of the Unchampioned

    - By D.J. Raspe - DJRaspy.com

    Via Twitter

    "careyfuller Indy 
    “Camping out” bit.ly/pfpXEH > Please help if you can!"

    Now, a little bit about Carey Fuller: Carey Fuller is a Blogger and an Internet Personality on the rise. What is her area of expertise, you might ask? The Plight of the Homeless.

    You might ask, how is it that Carey Fuller is an expert on Homelessness, when she's got the ability to get on social networks like Twitter and write blog posts on a website? Well, you see, she was given that ability by the caring auspices of the good people at http://invisiblepeople.tv/who wanted to give the homeless of North America a voice, when for so long, they had none. 

    You see, Carey Fuller is, herself, one of an alarmingly growing number of homeless people in this great country, and she is also, sadly, a representative of another disturbingly widespread demographic: Homeless Families. Carey Fuller lives in her car, with her two daughters. When I saw her story on InvisiblePeople's Youtube Channel, I wept like a broken-hearted child, to see my countrymen, or in this case, countrywomen living in vehicles because they had no place that they could call home.

    Click to read more ...

    Tuesday
    Sep272011

    #OccupyDigest - Tuesday, September 27, 2011

    #OccupyDigest Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2011: 

    Community members at #OccupyWallStreet meet at General Assembly this evening--Debate the urgency of development of consensus vs. inclusion of everyone's principles in the overall dialogue regarding the Demands of the Occupy Movement. Concensus is yet forthcoming...

    Flag of the Revolution - 2011Detailed (if unofficial) minutes of the #OccupyWallStreet General Assembly's meeting today can be found athttp://nycga.cc/2011/09/28/media-group-minutes-92511-730p/#more-706

    Susan Sarandon appeared at #OccupyWallStreet, urging Protesters to make their demands clear. Also in attendance today, Dr. Cornell West, noted social-justice advocate. The Occupy Movement is definitely gathering star power to its banner. Whether or not it is right that a movement should need stars to endorse it, rather than stand on its own merits, the fact is, the Occupy Movement is benefiting from the high profile names who are showing support to it. 

    Click to read more ...

    Saturday
    Sep032011

    Your vote: How much does it matter?

    The year is 2012.  Well, not yet.  But it soon will be, in a matter of a few short months. During that year, the various and diverse peoples of the United States will be treated to a veritable media onslaught of politicians pandering, news-media pundits spinning, and election campaign committees organizing, all in the hope that, in November of Aught Twelve, you, the good ol' Amurrican voter, will go to the polls and vote for them. 

    I want YOU (to vote even though we're going to just elect who we want to anyways.)Because whether they're right-wing or left-wing, Republican or Democrat, they want your vote. 

    Click to read more ...

    Sunday
    May222011

    Wanna Know What's Up? That's What's Up.



    No, really. Screw alienation. Alienation is for chumps. You're not a chump. You don't need that shit. Engage your community. Wherever you are, DEMOCRATIZE your community. Because if YOU don't rule you, someone ELSE will rule you FOR you. And do you REALLY like the kind of job they've been doing?

    No matter who you are. No matter how much money you got. No matter where you go in life...you're going to need someone to stand by you. This is real talk, my People. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if

    Click to read more ...