Sanguo - Books, Culture, Podcasts, and Revolution

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING COMMENTARY MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS. AND BY 'MAY', I MEAN IT PROBABLY DOES...

It's chapter 16, and the Lords of the Central Plains (If you haven't been paying attention at all up to this point, I'm referring to Cao Cao, Liu Bei, Lu Bu, and Yuan Shu) continue to play a dangerous game of intrigue against each other. The prize: the strategically important region known as the Xu Province. In the RoTK video games, this part of the story gets its own scenario, and with good reason. The events of the last several chapters (not including chapter 15, which dealt mostly with events in the Southland) have been focused on this region and the people who dwell therein.

The Xuzhou Archery banquet,

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Cao Cao,

Dian Wei,

Lu Bu,

Zhang Xiu in

Thursday

Sep032009

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 15

Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 8:38PM

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 15:

Taishi Ci Fights With The Little Conqueror;

Sun Ce Cuts Short The White Tiger King.

Listen:

WARNING: TWAS BRILLIG, AND THE SLITHY TOVES DID GYRE AND GYMBLE IN THE WABE. ALL MIMSY WERE THE SPOILERGROVES, AND THE MOME RATHS OUTGRABE.

So I bet some were wondering, "Whatever happened to that Sun Ce fella. The one that's supposedly descended from that there Art of War guy?"

Well, you may rejoice. Because Chapter 15 is almost all about that Sun Ce feller's adventures.

Imperial Hereditary Seal,

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Liu Yao,

Sanguo Yanyi,

Sun Ce,

Taishi Ci,

The Little Conqueror,

Zhou Yu in

Thursday

Sep032009

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 14

Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 7:01PM

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 14:

Cao Cao Moves The Court To Xuchang;

Lu Bu Leads A Night Raid Against Xuzhou.

Listen:

WARNING: MUCH LIKE A SACK OF ORANGES, SOME OF WHICH ARE ROTTEN, WE GOTS SOME SPOILERS ALL UP IN THIS BEEYATCH!

You know, ^^^^ Those are getting a bit trickier to write every time.

Anyways, we've made it to Chapter 14. Cao Cao is King Shit right now. Li Jue and Guo Si got over their beef with each other, got a room, then after they were done, they decided to chase down and...get this...KILL the Emperor. But Cao Cao had this little army that he had obtained from stomping the Yellow Turbans of Qing Province into the mud. (Did I ever mention that he also at the same time obtained a big, bristly mustached man-tiger, name of Xu Zhu [or Xu Chu. I'm not quite sure which.])

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Lu Bu,

Xuzhou,

Zhang Fei in

Thursday

Sep032009

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 13

Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 6:46PM

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 13:

Li Jue and Guo Si Duel In Changan;

The Emperor Establishes Anyi The New Capital.

Listen:

WARNING: IF YOU ARE EVER IN A RIOT SITUATION, DON'T DO WHAT I DID...

In chapter 13, Lu Bu, smarting from a recent asswhuppin' from Cao Cao, flees to Xuzhou, now under the governance of Liu Bei. I know what you're thinking. "OH MY GAWD! Lu Bu and Liu Bei together! Like, on the same team?!" Yes. I know, Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei were just fighting with the guy a few chapters ago. But apparently, ancient chinese nobles, much like modern professional wrestling fans, and for that matter, the American electorate, don't seem to have much of a memory. So the answer is, yes. For the time being, at least, Liu Bei and Lu Bu are on the same team.

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Anyi,

Dong Cheng,

Emperor Liu Xian,

Guo Si,

Hong Nong,

Jia Xu,

Li Jue,

Zhang Yang in

Thursday

Sep032009

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 12

Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 5:49PM

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 12:

Tao Qian Thrice Offers Xuzhou To Liu Bei;

Cao Cao Retakes Yanzhou From Lu Bu.

Listen:

WARNING: THERE MIGHT BE SPOILERS IN THE FOLLOWING COMMENTARY. BUT THERE SHOULD NEVER BE SPOILERS ON CARS. EVER. THEY'RE SO UGLY.

So now Cao Cao and Lu Bu are getting ready to get down to business. Lu Bu, at the insistence of Chen Gong and with the connivance of Cao Cao's longtime friend, Zhang Miao, has stolen the city of Puyang away from Cao Cao while His Scottishness was off in the East trying to punish Tao Qian.

tagged

Mi Zhu,

Xu Zhu,

Xuzhou,

Yanzhou in

Thursday

Sep032009

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 10

Thursday, September 3, 2009 at 12:56PM

The Sanguo Yanyi - Chapter 10:

Gathering Arms, Ma Teng Moves To Rescue The Emperor;

Commanding A Force, Cao Cao Marches To Avenge His Father.

Listen:

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING COMMENTARY MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS, AND IS PART OF A COMPLETE BREAKFAST...

Ahhhhhh, Chapter 10. Dong Zhuo's fat, bloated corpse, rejected by Mother Nature Herself, can do little but lay there and ooze gravy out of every pore. I suppose that's poetic justice there...

Meanwhile, Dong Zhuo's former generals, the ones I like to call "The Xiliang Four", have seized control of the Imperial Court in Chang'an, and the air is always heavy with the threat of violence. Li Jue and Guo Si, the leaders of this new regime, have made no secret of their desire to kill Liu Xian and rule his empire in their own names.